As a feminist is it ok to still want Prince Charming?

I advocate and support the rights and equality of women. I believe than there has been progress but not enough and not equally around the globe. It drives me crazy that us women in 2015, still need to fight for sometimes basic rights.

But then call me crazy, but I like when a guy opens a door for me, takes me out and pays for the bill and doesn't ask me to split it! Then, I like to "serve" my guy...so cooking for him, putting food in his plate and serve it to him at the dinner table. On the same subject I also like when a guy cooks for me and serves me. I also believe I don't need a man to "take care of me"...or provide for me. I'm a professional independent woman, so I can take care of myself. But then I believe in sharing costs of living together and I too believe that it should be in proportion of each others's salary so it's fair. And so on...

So then the question is what is the right "balance", in all these expectations, needs or beliefs?

I can understand guys who get easily confused as they get all these paradoxical signs from us. But hey, we women are complex, full of contradictions, depending on how we were raised, if we were influenced by any religious beliefs and our overall experiences. Definitely when it comes to guys, love and relationships, we were way too much influenced by all the Disney princesses and stories of Prince Charming coming to our rescue! Rescue of what...I still don't get it but I still like the idea of Prince Charming.

One thing though for sure that makes us different than guys is that we have this 6th sense, when it comes to emotions, caring, loving, giving, sharing. Is it because we bare children and give life? Probably. Bringing a child into this world in my opinion, is still the most amazing experience one can live and unfortunately guys can't do that...not yet, who knows in the future! You truly understand and know what unconditional love means and is when you carry a child (or two) inside of you and when you see their little face for the first time. Also you can't be selfish anymore when you bring a kid into this world. You know, when you hear mothers talk about their kids and being ready to kill for them. The killing part is actually for real! I would definitely kill anyone who messes with my kids!

So back to the Prince Charming thing...I will tell you a story to prove my point that us woman, feminist or not still like these rare old fashioned romantic Prince Charming. 

The other night I went out with my sister and girlfriend. I took them to my favorite restaurant in Montréal. I've been talking to them about this place for a year now!  A place that is special for me as I usually go there with a very special friend. So that night we bumped into my special friend who was there on business. It was not planned, it was pure fluke that we were there the same evening. He came to say hello, I introduced him to my sister and girlfriend. He actually KISSED their hand, said a few charming words to them, and then asked us what we were drinking. We said we were looking at the wine menu and were undecided. He then said to us we needed bubbles, and in a finger snap, the waiter was next to us and he ordered the "bubbles". He ordered a nice bottle of Champagne not sparkling wine, but real Champagne and a very good one. My sister and girlfriend, were already impressed and thankful. He went back to his guests. The first thing that my sister and girlfriend said to me, was "he's so charming, nice and generous". Then they made comments on how cute he was, polite, "sharp" and smart. I just smiled as I know very well how special he is. 

Our evening went on, we ordered food and when we were waiting for our food, he came to say goodbye to us as he was taking his clients to the hockey game so they were in a rush. He chit chat a little more with us, wished us a nice evening and left. 

I sent him a text message to thank him for the Champagne and made a little joke about him being so charming, to impress my sister and girlfriend and how it worked, cause they were already in love with him! He then replied, "I have a special "app" that connects me to the restaurant so if you need anything special just let me know". I only asked him what else he suggested for me to eat.

So, we continued our chit chat among girls, we ordered more food, a bottle of a very good Spanish wine and when we were finished the waitress said to us, "if you want desserts or an after dinner drink, please go ahead and order whatever you want. Everything tonight is offered to you by Mr. Prince Charming".

My sister and girlfriend, were very surprised...in a good way! From surprised, they went to being thankful, and then impressed by his gesture. I know him well, so I was not really surprised. Did I expected it? No, for me just the fact that he offered us a bottle of Champagne was nice enough. My girlfriend said, "wow they don't make guys like him anymore". He was able to surprise in a very nice way 3 grown up independent women. His gesture was old fashioned, kind of romantic too. He was no "show off", or trying to impress us, he was simply being the way he always behave with people he cares for. 

My sister and girlfriend sent me a text message and a video to pass along to him, to personally thank him. The next day we were still taking about how nice the whole evening was and about his gesture. 

So yes, we women still like when a guy surprises us and acts like a Prince Charming. I don't think I know any of my female friends who would have been "offended" by his gesture. 

I definitely feel very privileged to have this Prince Charming in my life. Let's just say I see "la vie en rose" when he's around :) 

Do guys talk about sex among themselves?

A few weeks ago, I spoke on the phone for 4.5 hours. I can't believe it, but I did.  The last time I spoke with someone on the phone for hours it was probably when I was a teenager! And even then, I'm not sure!

I usually don't like talking on the phone.  I use the phone to confirm a dentist or doctor appointment, to call my kids just to say hi. To call my mom and see how she's doing. To call my sister on my way to work or home just to chit chat. When stocked in traffic, I do business calls. But 4.5 hours on the phone to end up talking about orgasms and specific details about sex, it was quite a call.

And this call was not with a man or on a sex line. Sex lines...are there any for women? I'm assuming that it's mostly guys who use sex lines. Sorry, no offense, but I think that us woman don't pay for sex on the phone!

And I'm not being a puritan, because of course I have had sex on the phone. A few times actually, and it was really fun. But it was with men I care about, not strangers, and I did not pay for it.

So my 4.5 hour call was with a girlfriend. 

So, we started talking about some plans we were supposed to have, and then we moved the conversation on to other topics, and before we knew we had been on the phone for a long time. We ended up talking about sex, about orgasms, about specific details on female orgasms and much more that I won’t disclose in here because it was something! 

OK, I must say that I'm very open minded and so are most of my close girlfriends, and we can talk about a lot of things without the judging, or comparing, or trying to show off. We simply talk. I also have some close girlfriends who are more reserved and do not like those kind of talks and that's OK too.  

So going back to my story, when talking for all those hours, at one point, we both started laughing and the question we asked ourselves was: do guys talk about specific details on sex with their male friends? My friend thinks that they do. 

Me on the other I don't think so. My theory is that if guys come to the sex subject with their male friends, they won't be discussing their orgasms, or the intensity of it, or the different kinds of orgasms. If there is a conversation, it will probably stay very general.

I might be wrong, but that is my theory or assumption. When I have talked about sex with male friends, lovers, husbands, I’ve always observed that men in general get somehow uncomfortable talking about it. On the other hand some guys, are good at writing about it to tease, to get our imaginations going, but I wonder if these guys would do the same little "games" when face to face with a woman...I think it’s always easier to type things and press “send”.

Once, I had a male friend who asked me questions about sex and wanted to know a few things of what we, women think. This guy is my age, and before he was able to ask me, I could see he was uncomfortable. I had to encourage him to let go and just ask the questions to me. I told him that he could ask me anything. No judgment, no making fun of him. All questions are good in my opinion, no matter what the subject is.

We ended up having a very interesting talk. At the end he told me that it was his first time ever having such an open discussion on sex with someone. So I asked him what about discussing with his male friends what we had just talked about. He gave me a funny look and then say, I would never have this kind of conversation with a guy! “You know, between guys it’s always about who has the most powerful... something LOL!"